Today is my 38th birthday! And maybe itās because Iām a "first week of fall" baby or perhaps itās my unabashed Libra identity, but my birthday always brings big New Year energy. As I close out this trip around the sun, Iām not only grateful for another year but also excitedāgiddy, evenāat the chance to prioritize new goals for the year ahead.
So yea, I set birthday resolutions. Last year, right before my 37th birthday, I learned a stat about textile waste that rattled meāthereās enough clothing already in circulation to clothe the next six generations. That fact coupled with the images of discarded clothing piles visible from space led me to a commitment of not buying new clothes for a year. I have lots of reflections to share about this experience (which will come in its own dedicated post soon) but in short, it was a powerful exprience. And spoiler alert: that commitment is coming with me into 38.
This year, as Iāve reflected on where I am and where I want to be when I turn 39, Iāve landed on three personal goals and a project to guide my next trip around the sun.
Daily Journaling
Iāve maintained a one-line-a-day journal since the day my daughter was born (May 2023), have been consistent with my kidās childhood history journals (which I update around their birthdays), and dabbled in gratitude journaling (Monday's A Simple Thing got me back on track). But this year, I want to deepen the practice with two types of journaling:
long-form journaling: Whether itās stream-of-consciousness or prompts, I want to dig into myself through writing, either early morning or in the evenings before bed. I can get caught up in the desire to create Pinterest-worthy spreads, but thatās not sustainable in this phase of life or for this goal. So, to ensure this is achievable, Iām committing to filling a simple notebook with my scribbled thoughts.
creative journaling: Inspired by this memoir, I want to capture moments from my daily life through drawing and watercolor. Itās something I can do next to my kids while they engage in arts and crafts, keeping it simple but meaningful. Iām excited to document more of my day-to-day memories and also see how my drawing skills evolve over the year.
This goal feels like a return to girlhood, back to when Iād always get a fresh journal around my birthday.
Confront Mortality
Iāve been thinking more about mortality lately, spurred by books like Four Thousand Weeks and The Collected Regrets of Clover. And just this week, I came across an article about the value of doing a "Life Review" at any age, which got me thinking even deeper about how Iām living. So when a copy of Memento Mori: The Art of Contemplating Death to Live a Better Life arrived at my doorstep (thanks to the publisher for the gifted copy) I was immediately curious and after reading the introduction I was sold. Here are a few quotes from the first few pages that caught my attention:
In some Indigenous cultures, people were taught to regularly ask themselves if today would be a good day to dieā if they knew they would die tomorrow what would they change today?
Researchers have also found that those who possess what they term āmorbid curiosityā ā a motivation to learn about death and other threatening phenomenaā enjoy greater positive resilience, a characteristic that allows them to thrive during uncertain or difficult times.
The Denial of Deathā demonstrates that if one has not come to conscious relationship with oneās own death, reminders of morality can lead to anxiety, aggression, xenophobia, and even violence against others, genocide, and dictatorships.
Iām intrigued by the idea that reflecting on death helps us live more fully, and I plan to explore this with a 12-week journey of prompts and reflections and construct my own life review. This pairs naturally with my journaling aspirations too.
Cycle Syncing
Now that Iām officially past my pregnancy and postpartum years, Iām eager to understand my hormonal phases better and find ways to support a healthy balance. It frustrates me how little I know about this, and even more so how little attention our culture gives to understanding and supporting womenās hormonal cycles. But I know there are great resources out there and incredible women leading the way with these conversations, and Iām eager to embark on this journey. By this time next year, I hope to be living more in tune with my bodyās natural rhythms.
Earlier this week, I took my four kids (ages seven and under) to Starbucks for a special after-school treatāoat milk PSL steamers (they were tickled by these BTWā āpumpkin milk!ā). It went about as smoothly as youād expect, with the kids rattling off 87 requests at once, and my 4-year-old dropping his drink before his first sip. But the staff were so patient with us, cleaning up the mess and even replacing the spilled drink at no charge. Their kindness made me, a frazzled mom of a mini circus, feel supported and valued.
On the short drive home, I called Starbucks customer service to praise the staff. Their thoughtfulness had turned what could have been a chaotic moment into a positive experience, and I wanted to make sure their kindness didnāt go unnoticed.
That got me thinking: why donāt I do this more often? How often do I take the time to give positive feedback, compared to when something goes wrong? I tend to prioritize giving critical feedback and I want to change that.
Enter my Positivity Project. This year, Iām committing to giving 100 positive reviews for real-life experiences that have made an impact on meāfrom a recipe my family loved to a cashierās helpful attitude. The goal isnāt just to share more positivity, but also to heighten my ability to notice the good things happening around me. And hereās the bonus: it feels good! The more we celebrate the good in the world, the more we create a reality thatās uplifting and hopeful, reflecting the same attributes in our own actions.
Iād love for you to join me in this project! Iāve even created a tracker (ofc I have!) to print and fill in with 100 "positive gems" of your own. Invite your kids or others to get involved as well. The printable is also open-ended, so you can customize the project to whatever you wish.
Letās see what impact we can make by focusing on the small, everyday acts of kindness that remind us how special it is to be human.
When it comes to my birthday, Iām forever 7 at heart, but with the grown-up perks of doing whatever I want(ish). So naturally, I celebrate all month long. By the week of my birthday, I go full YOLO and write it all off as ābirthday week!ā This year, my kids have a school performance on my actual birthday (itās fineā¦š), and while Iād much rather be lounging in sweatpants with pizza, cake, and a movie marathon, theyāre really excited about it. So here I am, turning 38, quietly stashing my metaphorical ābirthday princessā tiara back in the closet. Aside from sweating in a packed gymnasium with hundreds of other parents, craning my neck to spot the proud little faces of my offspring in a sea of kids, hereās how Iām indulging this year:
š” I have been on the hunt for a standing floor lamp for our living room and I didnāt have success in my attempts to thrift one so I found this one that is a fraction of the price of one I loved from Crate & Barrel and just as beautiful. Itās the perfect cozy reading light for darker days.
š When my mom asked for birthday gift ideas, I told her about my plans to browse consignment shops with a friend. She Venmoād me some birthday money, and I spent an afternoon treasure-hunting new-to-me clothes for autumn and winter. I picked out the perfect pieces to upgrade my wardrobe.
š I love using my birthday as an excuse to spend some time in Stowe (some consider it #2 of the top 10 places for fall in the world!) so weāre headed up there this weekend for gondola rides, mini golf and of course apple cider and leaf peeping (#fallbaby). My kids have come to expect this tradition now and treat it as the opening ceremonies of fall. As my 4-year-old saysā āItās not fall till weāve gone on the gondolas!ā
š§š»āāļø Last year I asked for this LEGO set for my birthday and had the best time building it with my family throughout October. Iāve had my eye on another LEGO set to do together but for now we have enough stuff and itās not in our budget at the moment. So instead, we went to the craft store for beads and string for making friendship bracelets, clay for making ghost lanterns, and a restock of Perler beads. Weāll also be reassembling the Hocus Pocus cottage againāwatching the movie as we doāand itās something Iād love to do every year.
Letās talk! Let me know in the commentsā¦ How do you like to celebrate your trips around the sun? Are you a birthday fanatic like me? Do you set goals for yourself? Whats on your wishlist?!
Cheers to celebrating our birthdays however we so please!
I havenāt loved celebrating my birthday, I feel like thereās a lot of societal expectation around having great birthdays, and then I get disappointed. But this post makes me excited to celebrate my birthday with my daughter as she gets older - a built in cheering squad who will be excited to build birthday traditions with me!
I love the positivity project ā such a great way to recognize other people *and* boost yourself up at the same time. And happy birthday! š